I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
