if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
COCAINE IS GR8
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
