Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
