I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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