This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Houston, we have a blender
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
