sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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