Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize