I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
