My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
