took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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