i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
