I'm lost and stupid without you.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
