Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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