Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
NoShamevember. You game?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize