i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My penis needs a shock collar
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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