She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
