Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize