So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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