Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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