So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
