you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
