Buhtt sex?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
