Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
