It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
