Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
