I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
