I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
