I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
