there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
