id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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