You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
