Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
