ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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