If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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