Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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