Im at strip club and am horny
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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