if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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