Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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