I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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