Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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