I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
