I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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