hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
