so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
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