Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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