I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
