i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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