New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
