this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She just used a chaser for red wine.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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