I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
