4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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