You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
