that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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