the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
