Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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