I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
