Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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