we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
