Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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