I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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