Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
