I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
