theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
