hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
